Doubt ups and downs

It’s already a year ago since the last day of the shop. I can still remember like it was yesterday. Time flies so incredibly fast. And I’ve posted so little. I know. Still I had plenty of plans. I’ve done a lot except sitting still. Although sitting still, doing nothing was one of my intensions. But I had lots of doubt ups and downs. 

Thinking. Lots of thinking. About what i’ve been doing the last years. What happened to me, what it costed me and what it brought me. And of course the question what to do now. The crazy thing is, that every time I thought I had the answer, I doubted everything. My energy level doubted with me.

Not doing nothing

So what have I been doing..? Well… I moved. I left Amsterdam for what it was. Moving is not one of my most favourite things. But it was inevitable. I’ve followed two educations. At the same time. Unfortunately that was the case. But I’ve made my exams and got my diploma for both. That actually meant more to me than I expected. That was nice.

I got to know a lot of new people. Fell flat on my face a couple of times too. I’ll probably never change. I play as a DJ in a club. That’s so much fun. I also produce music now. That too is so great. While it is a learning process the same time. Imagine how a starting perfectionist producer creates a track. It’s like mission impossible. But loads and loads of fun!

Fear of posting

I’ve been writing. A lot of writing. But as critic as I am, I feared posting anything. I’ve build a new website. A new concept. One that will be the successor of the pastry website. But one again as critic (doubtful) as I am, I do not dare to publish it yet. Maybe I should once do a course how to get rid of doubts. Anyone any suggestions?

The fake online world

Would you like to know which thoughts cross my mind and which I doubt? I think it is wonderful to be active online. Like posting blogs and videos. About everything what I’ve learned in my life. Like pastry, -recipes, new ways of preparations, advertising, design, DJing, music production and about the maduche. Wat what’s holding me back is how fake the online world is.

I mean, if you want to be of any importance in the online world, make it your profession, then you must have at least tens of thousands of followers. The problem is that almost every succesful blogger and vlogger gained these followers in an unfair way. It has nothing to do with succes, but everything with money and tricks. Becoz these days you won’t make it without money and these tricks. Followers do not follow spontaneous anymore. No. You buy followers. Or you fool them.


I regularly get new followers on my Instagram account. While I didn’t use it for a long time. They are followers who have nothing with my creativity or pasrty. They only have one goal. They want you to notice them. So you will follow them. They don’t care that you don’t have mutual interests. Just like a butcher following a vegan. Or an armsdealer following a pacifist.

From the moment you start following them, they will unfollow you. Do you still get it? And they don’t even do it themselves personally. No. They have smart companies for that. Smart IT-guys. It has nothing to do with interests, blogging or vlogging. It’s only about large numbers. Without these numbers you’re nothing. It is as crooked as it can be.

Reviews en ratings

And then there is these reviews and ratings. Seriously. The world these days appreciates reviews and ratings way more than original craft. There isn’t any shop anymore, on- or offline, that doesn’t spam you if you can please review and rate their service. They even offer you discounts or free products with your next purchase if you review and rate them.

The irony is that in times when I still had my shop, almost all my clients send me an email when they were pleased with the macarons and the service. But when they had a complaint they always posted it online and gave me a one star rating. But of course.

I regularly got requests from people (also know as influencers) who wanted to write a review if I send them free macarons. What do you mean, free blog journalism (which was always my reply to them). It looks like the world has gone crazy. When will the days start when reviewers and influencers will be reviewed and rated?


Do you get my dilemma now? Must I lower myself to these tricks. Buy followers. Bribe influencers. En be so-called-successful. Or should I not even start it. Becoz I won’t play their game, which is impossible to win. I think nothing is greater than blogging and vlogging creatively. But I have an allergy for fake. Love, Poptasi 8]x

PS Before I forget: can you please review and rate my article..? Sharing is also great. Please. Then you’ll receive not just as first but also a discount on my next blog. #lol



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.